oh now I found it

We came back from NYC and for the life of me I could not find my memory card. but aha I found it!

This photo means so much to us. Behind us is the sign for strawberry fields, a memorial to John Lennon. Our moms are huge Beatles fans to say the least, as are Jake and I.  We have the movie Across the Universe memorized front to back. We were on our tour bus and looked over at a big black and gold building and I said  "omg its the Dakota" our tour guide looks at us and said "you like the building eh? fancy building famous people" and I replied "John Lennon died here" and he said "Oh is this the building?"  Maybe I should have been born in a different era to know that that was the building were millions of people had their hearts broken when he was killed. Maybe this Mr. NYC tour guide was just not a Beatles buff. So we got out at the stop for Strawberry Fields and turned and looked at this stunning co-op building, where we dream of living one day. We turned back to walk into Strawberry Fields and listened to the instantaneous quiet that was in this small alcove of  Central Park

how sweet it was

to have minty delight herbal tea with cup cakes for breakfast. Okay I ate the blue one for desert the night before, but the beautiful sprinkled green magically one is the Priscilla Cupcake. Pistachio  HEAVEN!!!!

magnolia bakery NYC

A few things about me, I am obsessed with sex and the city, I am obsessed with drag shows, if I could get away with it I would drink nothing but hot and ice tea. I am obsessed with broadway musicals, and  I will sell hubs right arm for pistachios. I am highly allergic to nuts and pistachios are one of the few that I can eat without consequence.


Saturday afternoon hubs suggest we take a walk through the village to find Miss Carrie Bradshaw's apartment. Yes yes she is supposed to live on exchange but her address was faux and her brownstone was actually in the village. We found it I didn't take pictures cause well one there was a sign that said no photos and two that is still someone's house. Everyone is telling us that we should go to Magnolia Bakery, well duh of course we must. FYI in case you are dying to know, this is where Miranda and Carrie eat cupcakes outside and Carrie makes her first mention of Aiden.  We mosey in I grab a piece of vanilla cake with buttercream icing and sugar sprinkles and a mint honey tea, I was too excited that we were there to even know what Hubs got. We sat on the benches in the Bleeker Playground and gazed around.... where I found my other other love NARS. Thats a blog for another day though my dears.  I trekked around the village on a sprained ankle on top of a tendentious and was so happy with cake in my tummy and tea in my hand.

statue at the Bleeker Playground

Yesterday we ran around the city again came across the 6th street location and OMSBJ they had the Pricilla Cupcakes, which are pistachio cupcakes make for the broadway show Priscilla: Queen of the Desert . Hello a broadway show preformed in drag, and you made a cupcake in honor of it! It was like it was made for me personally I grabbed a hot tea and 2 cupcakes to go. I wish I knew  how to describe the sheer whaaaaahhhh that was the cupcake. The icing was so incredibly creamy on both. I just augh I wish I could explain it but it was heaven. 


I gotta start packing we go home tomorrow and then off to cuddle with the Hubs

Live from Newark NJ

its me!

I wanted to stop and talk about my first plane ride ever! I realize now that I am on the ground it wasnt so bad at all and Hubs actually said it was a bit rough on take off and touch down due to weather. I did cry, I cried and told Hubs I didnt feel brave at all, the little boy in front of me and said " dont cry be brave your momma buy you a hoppy ( yeah that cute) meal too". I sat there on take off and recited every minute of my planned itinerary  to myself and chomped on my gum, until jake squeezed my hand and said we were in the air. I mustered up the courage a few times to look out the window. He had been keeping it closed to allow me to not freak out.

I liked it, I cant say I would jetset all around but for longer than 15 hour trips yeah I would fly again.

Okay I am not a bitchy person I dont like to judge books by their covers but there is a strong difference in East NJ folk and everyone else on the planet. Why is everyone in Newark so rude, the only nice people have been the bus drivers ( we are taking public transportation its mad cheap and super easy to navigate) if you say please or thank you you get a sneer its saddening. We thought we were going to encounter this in NYC no freaken way. A few things on NYC A) nicest people ever  locals/shoppers/cops everyone AWESOME. B) HOLY S$&% the cabs when we have had to take cabs in NYC hella hella HELLA cheap. C) food = love amazing. I am in love with the village and wish to move there to never return.

HOW EXCITING! I have known in the virtual world my dear friend John for EIGHT YEARS, and hubs and I are meeting up with him for dinner tonight yay for connections!


All post about fashions and sights and IMATS will come later,

Thanks and missings

We are a very large military family, my dad and all but 2 of my uncles were military at one point. My dad served 18 years in the Navy. Currently  I have 17 cousins that are active duty/ reserves. I have one thats deployed. :'(  With such a huge family (my dad has 20 siblings total) , I have only met my cousin Jon two times in person, (however I have had the pleasure of shit talking back and forth quite often)  but he is one tough cookie. Today is Jons birthday and he is thousands of miles away from the people who love him the most, especially his mom and his precious girlfriend. I asked his mom when he comes home and its not until March 2012. Such a long time but at least its only one birthday missed. so with this I say:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JON!!!!! COME HOME SOON!!!!

I am proud of my family and their choices to dedicate their lives to fight for our country, I personally would have never made it through boot camp. On that a alone I am admire them, I mean honestly the only hauling ass I do is at an outlet mall when i see the word sale over the ON and Anne Taylor stores. My primos are out there saving lives kicking ass and taking some serious names.

On the note of birthdays I have to get really teary-eyed on your asses now.

Today is also my best friends birthday of whom I have known literally since he was in his mamas belly. Aside my husband there is no one on the planet that knows me as well as Will does.  He cracks me up and is an excellent chef and ladies he is ready to mingle. I miss him so so so  much since live in different states and now our school/work schedule makes it impossible to talk 24-7. we had to reschedule our NOLA trip but next year is it we are going to see each other again when him me and Hubs party it up.

me poking wills eye out ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERBIE!!! LOVE YOU!!!

okay going to get ready for the tourney today. wish me luck guys

sore.....and some misc items

we have a company volley ball tourney this weekend which means that our out of shape selves have been practicing. oh my burning thighs buns and arms! I am out of shape like a muddafkr. But I have to be truthful its been super worth it cause I have had super amounts of fun. We have made a pact to not take the entire thing overly serious. last year the company kick ball tourney was annoying my team made it to the finials but everyone had kinda had enough when it was coming to the motor mouthin. no one likes hecklers when booze is around.

I have been totally not on my afternoon walking schedule.... for shame on me. I am going to pay for it ten fold in nyc lol cant wait! we have decided to do a double deck trip woohoo no subways :) for 2 days, just cruising around. I really want to say thank you to all my blogger friends who have been given me tips and prepping me for my first plane ride. I am not as scared as I was before only a lil bit, but  I am sure I will love it.

off to watch a movie

20 days

There are twenty days left until we board the plane and head out to NYC/DC/PHIL. I want this adventure more than air right now, shit more than cake right now. I want to breathe in a new smell. I want to go to Leob Boathouse, Rockafeller Center, the Washington Monument ect ect ect. I feel itchy I am so anxious for the next twenty days to pass.

I feel like I am stuck in this big bowl of suck. I am probably coming off super dramatic but today I blew up at the hubs over dishes and a video game, I cried tears that were not even justified for dishes and a video game it just felt like my entire world fell apart. I cant even tell myself why I cried so hard today for so long. I don't know what is missing right now that is causing such a huge void in my heart that just has me doubled over inside. Everything even my weekly status review at work has me wanted to cry, and the worst part of all I got praise for it. I was told I was doing a good job, and I still felt like the world stomped on me. Then this stupid stomach bug has me doubled over physically.  Can caffeine withdraw do this to me? I haven't been drinking soda, and I had a strong addiction to caffeine and tea doesn't have the same amount of caffeine in it than tea does. Can I be going through a substance withdrawal?

just you and me today

No fashion blogging, no farmer talk nada just you and me.

In 30 days we will be boarding our flight, and oh my goodness gracious this is my first plane ride ever. I am scared, I am really afraid of heights so badly. I am nervous and catching my eyes watering up right now just thinking about getting on a plane. I have been researching tips and tricks on relaxing and being calm when going through take off. I am just plain ol scurd though.
I am insanely excited to ride the train again, when we  lived in philadelphia we used to ride the train all the time, because my mom hated the commute between Cherry Hill (well hell anywhere in the north east ) and philly and we would take the train. We will be staying in New Jersey as this saved us $700 to do so, so this just means we are going to commute back and forth. We are taking advantage of being up there in the middle of everything to go to Philly for the day as well as Washington D.C.. We have waited almost  two years for our honeymoon.  I cant wait to get out there and take my camera and be a tourist. Omg how awful I am going to be such a tourist boolay.

Tomorrow is a famuly bar b que for my baby brothers birthday yipppeeee skippy, I am in charge of cup cakes hmm. IDK i cant make cupcakes, I tend eat batter.....
mk I am done rambling for the moment love love love

Lets get physical

I am about to get super real with you guys. I am going to head to an all women's gym to check it out. I have been a member to several traditional co-ed gyms and I honestly get really self conscious working out next some super buff dude who can run on the treadmill for an hour at a time while I am huffing and puffy walking for like 15 mins. Plus its harder for women to lose weight so it would be nice to be around  others who feel my pain on this journey.

I am a mall walker I can admit this....  thats the extent of my physical activity now a days. But I need  to get into better health.  I am at the largest in size that i have ever been, and I am so embarrassed by this. An there is this one thing that just KILLS ME. Its not the muffin top its not the big booty, its the fact that when I kiss my husband my tummy touches him before my chest does. On a health scale, I have bad numbers my triglycerides are through the roof my good and bad cholesterol is all out of wack.  I have an predisposition to heart disease and diabetes so this is something I need to be on top of. I want to be a mom desperately and I know that my weight right now is impacting my body  and in the event of me getting pregnant  I want to lessen my of contracting diabetes.

 On the vainity side.I miss shopping hardcore clearance sales since I was able to shop on the "skinny-girl" side of the store, plus sized clearance is slim pickings 99% of the time. I miss not feeling like a sloth in a bathing suit omg I will scream the day I can wear a bikini again. I miss wearing heels and the weight not hurt me  on the front of my foot and toes. I miss playing soccer with my family and not wanting to pass the hell out from exhaustion.

The only thing that will keep me from not joining this is going to be the same thing that will keep me going. PRICE...... gah stupid price.

Wish me luck ladies....

Sloth and Organization

Man why are the days already flying by? I feel guilty for feeling so whiney and tired cause I don't Have a physically demanding job, I have no kids, and I haven't been exercising. My job right now is a bit mentally pressing but nothing that should be causing me to come home and be asleep by five in the afternoon for nap time. I should probably take more vitamins and start walking again to get the blood circulating.

Uh will the waiting ever end on this tax return so i got my forms in from school filed and might I say this is the longest 8-15 business days EVER. Okay it hasn't even been 8 business days, but geeezzzeeee I have dressers to purchase! A house to organize.

Now I dont normally post photos on here but I cant wait to do a before and after of all my organizing is complete. Looking at my fantabolous 80's patterned covered dining room chairs the fabric has really grown on me. I think the venture that I am going to take on this is to paint the chairs and the table I am feeling a slate grey coming. Then my most exciting reuse. As many know I was having a dresser issues, but thanks to my daddy dearest he has fixed this lil issue to wear the dresser is useable for storage, I am talking where you only open it every so often kinda storage. I am going to prime and paint the old dresser a shade bluer and then use this for all of my dining storage. Linens, our fine silverware, my gigantic serving platter that I do not have room for. I am so elated. I may just do a kitchen photo tour to show why I am searching for additional storage, and maybe you will understand that we are slightly spaced challenged.

Okay toodles for now, I have a few more post to pound out, and a house to clean.

Until then
L.

ps please go check out Peas&Crayons , she is the total bee's knees

forgiveness

call it a high-horse post, and soapbox shpeal.

I think we all lack the ability to engage in forgiveness. I am just as guilty in personal life, and at times in my career I am not forgiving either. I just sit and fester at times and become disappointed. I gain no value, no personal growth.

I catch myself somedays being more angry and resentful than grateful for the air that fills my lungs. I cant even tell you why sometimes I feel like I deserve to be resentful about a few things. It doesn't really do much for me it makes my head hurt, makes me sick to my stomach, it slowly burns bridges.

I am taking a new route i shall forgive and if I cant forgive then I will let go. I dont want nor need an ulcer. I dont want nor need this huge cloud of gloom over my head.

I spring clean the physical things but I dont think I have ever taken the time to consider a true emotional spring cleaning. Its time for that to cleanse my heart and the burden that weighs on my mind.

I got kinda lost in life this weekend yikes! I had every intentions on hoping on here I had so much to say! Once upon a time I was caught quite often writing my blogs by hand as they came to me so I could then transfer them over to the 'net. I dont know why I stopped that practice, I think I will take it up again.

We are for the most part very much homebodies, we have barbqs, movie nights, but we dont go out. However this weekend we found our social life, and let me say this, I am a friggen old lady cause I am so tired! We went out with friends to this bar/poker night thingy, everyone was so very nice but going after being at work for a for the day I was ready to pass out by 10. Sunday was more of just a food coma exhausted, Hub and C mastered a plan to go out to eat for breakfast which turned into jamba juice, which turned into greasy pizza, which turned into popcorn, damn I am sleepy just reading that. I came home passed out without even looking twice at the computer.

I am finally passing this feeling of where I need to stand outside and just scream at the top of my lungs.I am not feeling a hundred percent emotionally content but I dont feel the sense of anger that seemed to be sitting in my heart. There was a lot of reservations that I had about talking about my emotions, not feelings but emotions. I know that there will be some that think I am a total nut case and then some that will have an ah-ha moment and learn something about my behavior.


Tonight I will have two more post up, a dessert recipe and a normal post. I just wanted to explain my where abouts

a stab to the heart

When I announced to my family that I wanted to seriously pursue doing makeup as a freelance artist I was greeted with the reaction that I figured I was going to get. The uh huh sure nods, the seems kinda expensive, and the aren't you making enough money with company x. Company X is a good company they pay my bills and leave me fun money afterwards. But I am super girly girl, and after working for a cosmetics company I knew this was something I wanted to do and eventually building it into a full time career. There was one exception and that was the Hubs, who said to reach for the stars and that he would have my back.I was given a really hard blow to the heart when the hubs asked me what I was doing because I had not had a paying job yet. That hurt. I had explained to him after meeting with a woman who has taken the initiative to provide guidance and insight on how to break into the industry the right way. She told us that this was going to be an investment to start and we would be working for little or nothing at all until we built a strong portfolio. All which seemed understood. I guess I misunderstood his stance on it but it broke my heart when he told me I was doing nothing with it, I attempted to explain the price points and how if I picked up everything I would need all at once we wouldn't groceries or electricity. I felt like all of the support that was given verbally was a facade, I told him if he wanted me to stop then I would, and the look of relief in his face was like a wrecking ball to my stomach. I feel like I was being selfish, and no one had the nerve to just say it outloud.

I know that it is a huge risk with to take to try and branch into your own business, and rather than feeling excited I feel disgusted with myself because I feel like I was being selfish going after something that was not a sure thing.

IDK IDK

L.