Thursday, June 16, 2011

its been over a month

I know, I dont like to post when I find myself angry and I am not talking like angry they are out of my favorite cereal angry I mean angry like I could die so angry.

my blog I can be uncensored if I want I can be candid if I want so here we go.

I am so angry at the forces of nature right now. I am so angry i just want to fall to my knees and cry until I pass out. My grandpa moved away to ohio in 2003 and recently due to the death of my moms step mom moved back to texas to live with my parents. My grandfather is progressing aggressively into a complete Alzheimer's haze.
He doesnt remember me or my family most of the time. He doesnt remember he lives in Texas or that my mom is his daughter and not my grandma. He is just not there. Hubbs tells me I shouldnt be mad because he is still here with us in the flesh, but DAMNIT why doesnt anyone understand what I mean when I say he is so long gone its unreal.  I know he can sit in front of me and talk to me and somewhat follow the conversation, but he doesnt remember me the minute I walk out the door.

So I am angry and I curse at the sky sometimes cause I am angry and sad and confused on why someone who is a greater power would do something so cruel to give a family the outer shell but not the person who is within.

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