Tuesday, March 15, 2011

20 days

There are twenty days left until we board the plane and head out to NYC/DC/PHIL. I want this adventure more than air right now, shit more than cake right now. I want to breathe in a new smell. I want to go to Leob Boathouse, Rockafeller Center, the Washington Monument ect ect ect. I feel itchy I am so anxious for the next twenty days to pass.

I feel like I am stuck in this big bowl of suck. I am probably coming off super dramatic but today I blew up at the hubs over dishes and a video game, I cried tears that were not even justified for dishes and a video game it just felt like my entire world fell apart. I cant even tell myself why I cried so hard today for so long. I don't know what is missing right now that is causing such a huge void in my heart that just has me doubled over inside. Everything even my weekly status review at work has me wanted to cry, and the worst part of all I got praise for it. I was told I was doing a good job, and I still felt like the world stomped on me. Then this stupid stomach bug has me doubled over physically.  Can caffeine withdraw do this to me? I haven't been drinking soda, and I had a strong addiction to caffeine and tea doesn't have the same amount of caffeine in it than tea does. Can I be going through a substance withdrawal?


  1. Caffeine can do all sorts of things. When I wasn't drinking it for awhile I got terrible headaches. I'm back on the juice though. I know diet soda is terrible for me but I try to have 1-2 glasses a day. Also, we all have our days. You just have to remember tomorrow is a fresh start.
    My Heart Blogged

  2. If you feel the soda is giving you problems, the question is why? Is it because of the calories or the sugar intake?

    If that's a case, then [hides] you may want to consider going to a diet soda. Ween yourself off, then slowly drink a diet soda a day until you get used to the taste.

    I find myself attracted to Pepsi Max (a LOT of caffeine) or Coke Zero, as they taste as close to regular soda as you're going to get without the sugar or calories.

  3. Awww I'm sorry you have been feeling so miserable. :( It sounds like desperately need a vacation, so I'm happy you have NYC looming in your near future.

    I honestly believe caffeine does crazy things to you when addicted. I am addicted to caffeine through soft drinks and if I go so much as two days without that fix, I turn into a psycho-bitch. It's awful! I really wish I had some advice to give you but in reality, I need the same advice myself.

    I hope you feel better soon...